The Language of Love

So today marks my first wedding anniversary with Hubson. We did it! We made it a year! I really feel like it's a dancing in the street moment. Any newlyweds who tell you that their first year was "amazing" or "better than I ever imagined" or "perfect" are dirty little liars. The first year is HARD! This year, we've yelled and cried and thrown things and we've both threatened to end our marriage. We've had in-law issues and money issues and car issues and bill issues and apartment issues... pretty much, if you can think about it, we've fought over it. 


But there's one thing that Hubson and I are both good at and that's expressing to each other how much we love one another. It's definitely the glue that holds us together. Part of our success in this communication is a premarital class we took at church called The Five Love Languages. It's a complete coincidence that number  twenty-eight asks what my love language is but I thought today would be a good day to attack this question.


The idea behind The Five Love Languages is that we all feel, and speak, love in different ways. Some of us need to hear that we're loved (Words of Affirmation). Some need to have time focused solely on building the relationship (Quality Time). Some feel loved when their given a thoughtful gift (Receiving Gifts). Some like to be hugged, kissed, cuddled or have their hand held (Physical Touch) and some feel loved when you ease their personal burdens and help out around the house (Acts of Service). Ideally, couples should learn what their own language is as well as the language of the spouse. If they speak the same Love Language, then they're probably off to a good start. But if they speak a different Love Language than their spouse, then the challenge is to learn to speak in your spouse's language so that they feel loved they way they need to.


Like my friend Julie did in her blog, The Zombie Mom, I took the quiz for both the wife and for singles. Here are my results:


As a wife:
9- Quality Time
9- Acts of Service
6- Words of Affirmation
3- Gifts
3- Physical


As a single:
‎12- Quality Time
7- Acts of Service
7- Words of Affirmation
4- Gifts
0- Touch


When Hubson and I took the quiz before we got married, I think my results were similar but not exactly the same. He does a great job of spending "quality time" with me. Which means, for us, hanging out on the couch in the evenings watching our favorite programs. And if I'm being completely honest, I'd say "watching all MY favorite programs." Hubson is a sport when it comes to me and my TV shows. I've only got a couple that I watch religiously but since I literally have NO time alone EVER, he ends up watching them with me. He's also pretty good at acts of service. Sure, I have to ask him to do the dishes, but he does them. Which means I don't have to and that's good enough for me. And, he also puts up with my OCD. So he puts the dishes away in alternating colors. He puts DVDs away according to their genre. He neatly organized all his comic books and put them in the nice file boxes I bought for him. Well... most of them anyway. But you get the picture.


Hubson's Love Language was by far Words of Affirmation. (He scored a 12, which is the highest you can get in any one category.) So I bought a box of (REALLY COOL) postcards and I started sending them to him (back when we were dating and not living together). I started a journal where I'd write a letter to him and he could write a letter back to me. I leave him little notes of encouragement on our dry erase board and post messages and picture to his Facebook wall. All little words to give him the boost he needs and to show him that I love him.

I should mention that I think, like Julie mentioned in her blog, that there are differences between my wife quiz and my singles quiz because when I took the wife quiz, I applied the questions to my husband. When I took the singles quiz, I applied the questions to my friends. I'm not much into holding hands and kissing my friends. Haha. But I do like spending time with them and doing things like donating free babysitting time so they can get out without kiddos for an evening. 

So, excuse me while I go do a celebration dance in the street. Making it this first year is DEFINITELY something to dance about. Oh, and it's a good time to eat that year old frozen cake too. :)

The List

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.